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“Not good enough,” the little voice in her head chirped. She believed,  so her fingers crawled to the keypads of her laptop and she stroked the delete button. Gone, the design she has been working on  for hours. She stared at the blank screen, it was a clear reflection of the blankness she felt inside.

 She tried to think, but that was a luxury her brain couldn’t afford. So she sulked, as the words echoed in her head.

“You are not good enough,” the words are the piston of an engine.  The fuel, her unshakeable faith in her fears. The last bit of her confidence took a walk. The hollowness of it all, the steady spiral into nothingness. It felt  natural in an unnatural way.

 

Picture of a girl thinking

Photocredit @NedumSleem

She clicked the ‘X’ icon on the top left corner of the screen. Few clicks later tiny icons of designs were in view. It was her portfolio.

“You are not good enough,” the gravity of how it played out shattered her even  further. She closed the folder, right clicked,dragged the cursor to delete. More clicks and she was back in Desktop. Works of several months gone, her confidence ebbed away with each rejection from media houses. So she gave up, she believed .

It was a sunny Friday afternoon,  “I’m sorry madam, we will have to hire someone else. You are not good enough,” the Interviewer covered her file as he handed it back to her.

She wasn’t shocked then, she was relieved. Another person confirmed her lack of talent. She was the first to suspect  she wasn’t good enough, so she played  safe. Refused to take risks and thus produced art so drab until she finally gave up.

Quote on Self Doubt

Take Charge. If Not for anything, do it for your confidence.

 

 

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