My mother worries for the whole world. If worrying was basketball, she would be inducted in the hall of fame. If they were to give an Oscar, few other people would win. She would knock them off their perch with stunning theatrics and rave reviews will pour in like rain.
Mother would worry about anything, she would worry about not worrying as not to worry is a huge reason to worry.
It seemed she would wake up in the morning, eyes soaking up the new day, lying still on her bed and she would say,” what can I worry about today?”
We would often hear her say ; Why is it raining today? Oh hope the sun will shine by 3pm. My car will run out of gas, and there will be fuel scarcity. These kids what if they refuse to go outside today, or what if they go and never return?
That eba you want to eat, is it good for your stomach?
Everyday rice and indomie, can’t you eat eba for once?
Do you think you can grow to Six feet? Haba! Tareila men don’t like tall ladies o. You should not me taller than 5ft 9”.
Some of her worries are genuine though, like the day she worried we would forget to turn on the refrigerator. We didn’t and everything got spoilt before we return from the weekend in the village.
“I knew it” Mother’s rant began.
“You worry too much, now I have to worry about finding food for you lots to eat because you all forgot to put on the fridge. No, I will not worry. I have casted all my burdens upon the Lord it is no longer mine. The Lord will provide food for you all, or rather you can pray over the spoilt dishes and eat them all.”
“But Mother,” it was Tonia, she was the mouth piece of the house, our defence attorney whenever we were summoned to Mother’s Court of worry.
She told mother it’s not healthy, we cannot eat bad food. There are bacteria in it.
Mother simply chuckled her tongue and batted her eyes up and down like window blinds closing and opening too fast.
“Lawyer, when did you become the family doctor? Bacteria my foot. Either you eat the food or you fast, moreover it is long overdue. You should remember to pray about my tendency to worry, according to your theory I worry too much. I am going out, flee from all appearance of evil the bible says. If I stay here, I will be tempted to worry about you all.” She wriggled out of the house as she spoke. She didn’t even bother to ask us to unpack.
One hour later Tonia’s phone rang.
“Hello!” Tareila answered.
“Oh mummy, good afternoon. Tonia is having her bathe; we are watching TV, We have not eaten yet.”
“You have not eaten yet?” We swallowed the chuckle on our throats.
“These Children will not kill me. Can’t you people cook something else to eat?”
“But mummy you asked us not to. According to you we must eat all the spoilt food.”
“Oh Tareila, I am on my way. I will drive through one of those fast food, don’t you dare think it will be a daily occurrence. Junk food is poisonous to your system, it is cancer inducing. I will not live to see my children die before me because of what I fed them with. My God will not permit it.”
PS: Yesterday was marked as another Mother’s day in the calendar. But we don’t really need an official day to make us know how special mother’s are….
“No She’s not an application I just downloaded. She’s MOTHER and she’s unavailable on Playstore”
Haba : an exclamation.
Indomie : a brand of instant noodles. PS : Every noodle is called indomie on Nigeria.
Eba : The undisputed king of Nigerian meal. Prepared with garri (cassava flour) and usually eaten (swallowed) with soup.
Cover Photo by : Elogosa Osunde, follow her on Instagram @theforgetterseye