You always sweep dirt under the carpet, When no one is looking you will do it in a flash then flash a fleeting smile on your face.
“Mummy I am done,” you will say and she will look at you eyes wide in surprise, tell you how delighted she is you are her child and you will giggle with a halo of pride over your head. You are the maestro of housekeeping.
You used to throw dirty laundry under the bed. You will wear and heap them on a pile so high, but whenever you hear three taps on your door you will jump higher than the pile. Under the bed all the clothes will go in a single swoop.
“Your room is always tidy,” Aunty Joan’s voice will filter in — she is the only one who taps your door three times. “There is always a stray piece of clothing hanging somewhere in my daughter’s room” she would add. And your standing ears will stand taller, you adore the sound of those words from her, they were the best music you’ve ever heard.
You used to stack dirty dishes beneath the sink. Whenever daddy walks by you do not want him to see. On the kitchen door he would stand and tell you how Uncle Tony’s daughter never does the dishes but you are one of a kind. Two minutes after a meal no dish on the sink. You will make a great homemaker, Daddy will add, and you would lick your lips savour the taste, it was the icing on the cake.
You always change the grade after a test. You will flaunt the front page for your colleagues to see. “I scored perfect,”the words will fly out of your mouth. Your shoulders will rise higher than the highest and you will boast to them all how easy you would get an A if only you decide to in major exams. You had to tune down your intelligence, you don’t want to bruise the professor’s ego.
Your phone is always ringing whenever you are with friends. “You have plenty of admirers oh,” they would say in between teeth. And you will bat your eyelashes in approval, basking in the glory they pour at your feet. You will then begin your plethora of stories. Of the numerous ex-lovers that stalk you and the countless toasters whose proposals you will never accept . Your stories are always interrupted by your funky ring tone and the beeping light of your numerous instant messaging apps. What they don’t know it’s your alarm snoozing, you ensure it does every few minutes whenever you are with them.